Greetings, my friends. I WISH I could say that this was a monumental week for me, that the puzzle pieces all fell into place, and that my dreams and goals jetted off to the universe and that she (sorry… it’s a weakness) was busy manufacturing my fine-tuned new life and about to beam it to me in all it’s splendid glory. But if she was listening really closely, she’s probably spinning around the floor, looking both ways at once going, “why can’t he make up his flippin’ mind?!”

Mark J. says this is the week that everyone either quits the program or quits giving 80 to 90% and give it all. Sorry to be the outlier once again. NOT that the tasks this week were so difficult, but it is amazing the things that can congregate to get in your way and mess up your flow. And on top of that, my DMP is again waving in the breeze trying to figure out what it wants to be when it grows up.

See, I have questions. I’ve been studying the law of attraction for some time. Esther and Jerry Hicks and Abraham, Mike Dooley from the Secret, and even the writings of Hanel in our MasterKeys. They all say to tell the universe what you want but don’t meddle with how it does it! “Stay away from the dreaded how’s (Mike Dooley). Hanel, “just tell the universe what you want — the finite cannot inform the infinite;” and Esther and Jerry… “tell the universe what you want and it will determine how to get it to you!”  So if that’s the case… why do I have to be so specific?

I want $100,000.  “How you going to earn it?”  Wait a minute; isn’t that a “dreaded how”?  How are you going to “help people without expectation of compensation?” Heck — I’ve been doing that all along and not charging! That’s why I’m not rich already — I’ve been giving it away with abandon!  If I say, I want to go visit my friend in Australia, seems to me the Universal Mind has thousands of ways to get me there, including someone hiring me and sending me, so… why do I need to tell it the price?

Now, before you get carried away… I know this is my RESISTANCE. I started hearing that word months ago. Resistance. But just because I know it, doesn’t stop it from happening, and sometimes just saying “shut up” doesn’t make it shut up and it still wants answers. In the process, however, I discovered (yes… thanks to my guide), that I don’t want autonomy — I want liberty. LIBERTY is autonomy with the money to enjoy it. Her question was, “your desire for autonomy is clear, but is there also as strong a desire to have the resources that fund your autonomy? Are these needs equal?”  Well, YES… but shouldn’t Subby put that together and work it out?” Apparently not!

So I’m re-doing the cards, updating the PPNs, re-honing the “what’s”. Oh… I discovered something else. As good as it feels to talk about having a couple of million in the bank by a certain date… I’m just not jazzed to consider that. $50K in the bank, pay off and renovate my current house (which I like), fly to different countries and buy lunch with my friends jazzes me, and I want to do that NOW! But I don’t need to be a millionaire for that. Yeah, I know. I’m weird. So I have to rewrite that again, and put the things in I really want in the proportions that I really want them, so I can get excited about it again. Maybe I’ll want to be a millionaire in another few months.

And I’m also thinking Subby should know what “perfect health” means, based on knowing me all these years and considering it (he?) controls all the processes that make that happen! But apparently not — so I have to describe that too (and it’s NOT going to be P90X or Crossfit! I’m just sayin’).

So there’s my week four, and I’ve got double work to do now, fixing what floundered this week. But… the scholarship is secure. I’m still in. And I’m going to kick butt over this next 22 weeks.

Have a great week.

Kelvin